Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Carrie Welling

“Two weeks ago, I said, we're talking. I have to be induced. I cannot be in the hospital for the Super Bowl,”

-Pregnant woman who convinced her doctor to induce her early so she would not miss the Super Bowl.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Ray Nagin: Part Two

"How do I make sure New Orleans is not overrun by Mexican workers? (WAPO)

-New Orleans Mayor, pondering how to reconstruct the city of New Orleans.

Ray Nagin

"I don't get what all the fuss was about when I talked about New Orleans being a chocolate city. I mean, I understand the frustration with my 'God' comments. Maybe I went a little overboard. But Chocolate City? Come on." (WAPO)

-New Orleans Mayor, referring to earlier controversial quotes.

Cody Franchetti

“I believe in an elite, I believe that people want an elite … because there’s always been one, whether it be an oligarchy or a dictatorship..." Earlier: "“I find guilt [over wealth] absolutely senseless. It’s basically for old women and nuns,” (Observer)

-Self-styled Italian 'aristocrat' in New York, searching for a rationalization for his existence.

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Kevin Federline

"I've been in the closet with it for a while. I don't know, guess I would have to say I'm the rookie of the year." (CNN)

-Referring to his as yet undiscovered musical talents. (Pic from Hollywood Aliens)


Ford Motor Co.

"Repatriation of foreign earnings pursuant to the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004 resulted in a permanent tax savings of about $250 million." (Newsweek)

-In a statement January 24th, in which the company somehow received tax breaks due to the inappropriately named 'American Jobs Creation Act.'

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Bernie Ecclestone

"Women should be all dressed in white, like all other domestic appliances."

-Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone, on Danica Patrick's fourth-place finish at the Indy 500, the best showing ever by a woman in the race.

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Enrique Rodriguez Vasquez

"There was no one here to attend us guest in rm427. You even left the office unattended. You could have been burglurized ... Your lucky I didn't steele." [sic] (AP)

-By a man who burglarized a motel, then left a note indicating which room he was staying in.


Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Bill O'Reilly

"It's organized terror. That's what's going on." (Media Matters)

-Referring to verbal attacks in response to his incorrect comment that Jack Abramoff had donated to Democrats as well as Republicans, comparing the vitriol to terrorism.

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Rep. Scott Gunderson

"It's important to get kids hunting at a younger age." (WBAY)

-Wisconsin State Representative, in a proposal to lower Wisconsin's hunting age from 12 to 8.

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Garret Bushong

"We run this place and if anyone begs to differ, I’ll say what my good buddy Brandon Kirsch once said. 'You know where to find me, locker number three, so come and say what you need to say to my face.'"

-Purdue football player, in a letter 'apologizing' for his behavior at Purdue after being arrested for a DUI.

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Kate Beckinsale

"Actually, I'm surprised there aren't more celebrities in burkhas. You wouldn't have to work out. You could let yourself go. We should design a non-religious celebrity burkha with a floral print." (Egostatic)

-In an interview, according to Page Six.

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Monday, January 23, 2006

Halliburton Public Relations

"I don't want to turn it into a big issue right now." (WAPO)

-Referring to the contaminated water Halliburton provided to US troops in Iraq, in a memo from Jennifer Dellinger (Halliburton public relations department).

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George W Bush: Part 3

"It's amazing that people say to me, `Well, he's just breaking the law.' If I wanted to break the law, why was I briefing Congress?" (Yahoo) (WAPO)

-Referring to his spying activities, in a speech at Kansas State University.

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Frank Abramoff

"The crack drove my sweet 12-year-old granddaughter, one of Jack's five children ... to a fit of tears. Are you proud of that?" (NY Daily News)

-Jack Abramoff's daddy, referring to comments George Clooney made about his son's name, as if his son's notoriety weren't enough to shame his family.

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George Clooney

"Who would name their kid Jack with the last words 'off' at the end of your last name? No wonder that guy is screwed up,". (NYDaily News)

-Referring to Jack Abramoff, at the Golden Globes.

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Sunday, January 22, 2006

Paris Hilton: Part 3

“I was in Europe the whole summer, and all there is is like French — I didn’t see anything because I wasn’t in America.” (Gawker)

-In a deposition, on why she never saw the republication of the original Page Six article.

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Paris Hilton: Part 2

“No… there is stuff in London.” Hilton’s lawyer, Larry Stein, jumped in: “London is a U.K. publication.” Her retort: “Right. U.K. Whatever.” (Gawker)

-In a deposition, on whether she knew the Graff story had spread to UK publications.

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Paris Hilton

"It is like a weird Greek name. Like Douglas.” (Gawker)

-In a deposition, on the last name of a companion named Terry.

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Friday, January 20, 2006

George W Bush: Part 2

“I have no idea about the latter. [Laughter.] You did say, secret intelligence, right? [Laughter.] I understand. I really—the truth of the matter is, the chancellor brought this up this morning. I had no idea what she was talking about. The first I heard of it was this morning, truthfully.” (Newsweek)

-Answering a German reporter who asked, "“From your knowledge, did the German intelligence help the U.S. before and during the Iraq war in Baghdad?”, according to Washington transcripts.

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Michael Kinsley

"Until the recent controversies over Supreme Court nominees, I was unaware of the scope and depth of my professional obligation [as a lawyer] to avoid telling the truth." (WAPO)

-In an article titled, "Why Lawyers Are Liars".


Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Sharon Lemburg

"I believe this is the class that the Lord wanted me to teach." (CNN)

-Speaking after apparently receiving instructions from God to teach a course on 'intelligent design', in response to the California district's decision to stop teaching it.

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Newt Gingrich

"Since they [Democrats] think it is their job to run the plantation, it shocks them that I’m actually willing to lead the slave rebellion.” [Washington Post, 10/20/94]

-Quote uncovered after complaints that Hillary Clinton also compared the House to a plantation.

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Britney Spears

"In the future, I will refrain from discussing my private life in interviews. It will be expressed solely through art."

– Britney Spears, after an article in Allure magazine quoted her as saying, "Being married sucks"


Sen. Hillary Clinton

"The House [of Representatives] is run like a plantation, and you know what I'm talking about." (CNN)

-To a Baptist congregation on Martin Luther King Day, comparing the legislative body to institutions formed during hundreds of years of slavery.

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Friday, January 13, 2006

Sgt. Neville Gittens

"This appeared, by itself, to be a bomb.'' (SFGate)

-Speaking of a flashlight left in a Starbucks bathroom.

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Diane Wieland

"We've been torturing ourselves for a couple years trying to find the right one."

-Cape May County (NJ) Director of Tourism speaking of the state's new underwhelming tourism slogan: 'New Jersey: Come See For Yourself'

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George W Bush

"I have the perspective of having spent some time here, but not all my time. And I can remember what was, and now what is, and I can see what's going to be, too." (Boston Globe)

-Speaking at a press conference in New Orleans.

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Thursday, January 12, 2006

Ron Stallworth

"He asked me to take over the lead because I was a good, loyal Klansman." (Deseret News)

-Spoken by a black Klansmen asked to take over a local chapter due to his unwavering loyalty to the organization.

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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

LAX Security Guard- Unnamed

"But you're a woman." (News.com.au)

-Speaking to Margaret Jackson after she tried to get through security, after she truthfully explained that she was Chairman of Qantas airlines.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger

"I just never really applied for it." (CNN)

-Referring to a motorcycle license, after the upholder of California law got into an accident January with his son riding in a sidecar.

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Monday, January 09, 2006

Jeff Kenney

''It says a lot about your home. If you want a distinctive home, you look for a designer mailpost." (BostonGlobe)

-Owner of Walpole Woodworkers Store, maker of designer mailboxes costing up to $648.


Susie Carlton

"Cuba is living proof that economic growth is not a pre-condition to improving the lives of its people." (SMH)

-A board member of the New Matilda online newsletter, speaking of Fidel Castro's achievements.

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Friday, January 06, 2006

Ann Coulter

"I have difficulty ginning up much interest in this story inasmuch as I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East and sending liberals to Guantanamo."

-Speaking of The New York Times' collection of evidence in a pedophile case as similar to the evidence the US government could collect against terrorists.

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Kevin Madden, Spokesman for Tom Delay

"Mr. DeLay believes his support in the Republican conference is strong because it is clear he has always acted properly, with a full and public disclosure of his actions." (Reuters)

-Speaking after Republican Representatives Ray LaHood, Mike Pence and Christopher Shays, in addition to the conservative publication The National Review all declared they would not support Delay in his quest to return to the post of Majority Leader.

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Televangelist Pat Robertson

"Sharon was personally a very likable person, and I am sad to see him in this condition, but I think we need to look at the Bible and the Book of Joel. The prophet Joel makes it very clear that God has enmity against those who 'divide my land. " (SeattleTimes)

-Speaking of Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon after he suffered a stroke in Jan. 2006.

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Iraq's National Security Adviser Mowaffaq al-Rubaie

"They have reached a very good level in terms of their training and equipment and their readiness to combat terrorism." (BBC)

-Speaking of Iraq's army and police, after a series of suicide bombings on Thursday, January 5th, 2006 left more than 120 people dead.

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