Carrie Welling

“Two weeks ago, I said, we're talking. I have to be induced. I cannot be in the hospital for the Super Bowl,”

-Pregnant woman who convinced her doctor to induce her early so she would not miss the Super Bowl.

Ray Nagin: Part Two

"How do I make sure New Orleans is not overrun by Mexican workers? (WAPO)

-New Orleans Mayor, pondering how to reconstruct the city of New Orleans.

Ray Nagin

"I don't get what all the fuss was about when I talked about New Orleans being a chocolate city. I mean, I understand the frustration with my 'God' comments. Maybe I went a little overboard. But Chocolate City? Come on." (WAPO)

-New Orleans Mayor, referring to earlier controversial quotes.

Cody Franchetti

“I believe in an elite, I believe that people want an elite … because there’s always been one, whether it be an oligarchy or a dictatorship..." Earlier: "“I find guilt [over wealth] absolutely senseless. It’s basically for old women and nuns,” (Observer)

-Self-styled Italian 'aristocrat' in New York, searching for a rationalization for his existence.

cody franchetti, italians, aristocrats

Kevin Federline

"I've been in the closet with it for a while. I don't know, guess I would have to say I'm the rookie of the year." (CNN)

-Referring to his as yet undiscovered musical talents. (Pic from Hollywood Aliens)

kevin federline, Britney Spears

Ford Motor Co.

"Repatriation of foreign earnings pursuant to the American Jobs Creation Act of 2004 resulted in a permanent tax savings of about $250 million." (Newsweek)


-In a statement January 24th, in which the company somehow received tax breaks due to the inappropriately named 'American Jobs Creation Act.'

ford, layoffs,american jobs creation act

Bernie Ecclestone

"Women should be all dressed in white, like all other domestic appliances."

-Formula One chief Bernie Ecclestone, on Danica Patrick's fourth-place finish at the Indy 500, the best showing ever by a woman in the race.

bernie ecclestone, formula one, AUTO RACING, indy 500

Enrique Rodriguez Vasquez

"There was no one here to attend us guest in rm427. You even left the office unattended. You could have been burglurized ... Your lucky I didn't steele." [sic] (AP)

-By a man who burglarized a motel, then left a note indicating which room he was staying in.

crime, stupid criminals

Bill O'Reilly

"It's organized terror. That's what's going on." (Media Matters)


-Referring to verbal attacks in response to his incorrect comment that Jack Abramoff had donated to Democrats as well as Republicans, comparing the vitriol to terrorism.


bill o/'reilly, jack abramoff, fox, republicans, Democrats, Politics

Rep. Scott Gunderson

"It's important to get kids hunting at a younger age." (WBAY)

-Wisconsin State Representative, in a proposal to lower Wisconsin's hunting age from 12 to 8.

scott gunderson, republicans, guns, hunting

Garret Bushong

"We run this place and if anyone begs to differ, I’ll say what my good buddy Brandon Kirsch once said. 'You know where to find me, locker number three, so come and say what you need to say to my face.'"

-Purdue football player, in a letter 'apologizing' for his behavior at Purdue after being arrested for a DUI.

football, garret bushong, purdue

Kate Beckinsale

"Actually, I'm surprised there aren't more celebrities in burkhas. You wouldn't have to work out. You could let yourself go. We should design a non-religious celebrity burkha with a floral print." (Egostatic)

-In an interview, according to Page Six.

kate beckinsale, Celebrities, Entertainment, funny

Halliburton Public Relations

"I don't want to turn it into a big issue right now." (WAPO)







-Referring to the contaminated water Halliburton provided to US troops in Iraq, in a memo from Jennifer Dellinger (Halliburton public relations department).

halliburton, iraq, troops, dick cheney

George W Bush: Part 3

"It's amazing that people say to me, `Well, he's just breaking the law.' If I wanted to break the law, why was I briefing Congress?" (Yahoo) (WAPO)

-Referring to his spying activities, in a speech at Kansas State University.

george w bush, george bush, republicans, nsa, spying, humor, humour

Frank Abramoff

"The crack drove my sweet 12-year-old granddaughter, one of Jack's five children ... to a fit of tears. Are you proud of that?" (NY Daily News)




-Jack Abramoff's daddy, referring to comments George Clooney made about his son's name, as if his son's notoriety weren't enough to shame his family.

george clooney, jack abramoff, funny,republicans

George Clooney

"Who would name their kid Jack with the last words 'off' at the end of your last name? No wonder that guy is screwed up,". (NYDaily News)

-Referring to Jack Abramoff, at the Golden Globes.

george clooney, jack abramoff, funny,republicans

Paris Hilton: Part 3

“I was in Europe the whole summer, and all there is is like French — I didn’t see anything because I wasn’t in America.” (Gawker)

-In a deposition, on why she never saw the republication of the original Page Six article.

paris hilton, idiocy, humor, Humour, Funny, zeta graff

Paris Hilton: Part 2

“No… there is stuff in London.” Hilton’s lawyer, Larry Stein, jumped in: “London is a U.K. publication.” Her retort: “Right. U.K. Whatever.” (Gawker)

-In a deposition, on whether she knew the Graff story had spread to UK publications.

paris hilton, idiocy, humor, Humour, Funny, zeta graff

Paris Hilton

"It is like a weird Greek name. Like Douglas.” (Gawker)


-In a deposition, on the last name of a companion named Terry.

paris hilton, idiocy, humor, Humour, Funny, zeta graff

George W Bush: Part 2

“I have no idea about the latter. [Laughter.] You did say, secret intelligence, right? [Laughter.] I understand. I really—the truth of the matter is, the chancellor brought this up this morning. I had no idea what she was talking about. The first I heard of it was this morning, truthfully.” (Newsweek)

-Answering a German reporter who asked, "“From your knowledge, did the German intelligence help the U.S. before and during the Iraq war in Baghdad?”, according to Washington transcripts.

humor, george w bush, George Bush, Iraq, cia

Michael Kinsley

"Until the recent controversies over Supreme Court nominees, I was unaware of the scope and depth of my professional obligation [as a lawyer] to avoid telling the truth." (WAPO)

-In an article titled, "Why Lawyers Are Liars".

humor, lawyers

Sharon Lemburg

"I believe this is the class that the Lord wanted me to teach." (CNN)

-Speaking after apparently receiving instructions from God to teach a course on 'intelligent design', in response to the California district's decision to stop teaching it.

humor, religion, intelligent design, politics, evolution

Newt Gingrich

"Since they [Democrats] think it is their job to run the plantation, it shocks them that I’m actually willing to lead the slave rebellion.” [Washington Post, 10/20/94]

-Quote uncovered after complaints that Hillary Clinton also compared the House to a plantation.

humor,funny, politics,republicans, house of representatives

Britney Spears

"In the future, I will refrain from discussing my private life in interviews. It will be expressed solely through art."

– Britney Spears, after an article in Allure magazine quoted her as saying, "Being married sucks"

humor, britney spears

Sen. Hillary Clinton

"The House [of Representatives] is run like a plantation, and you know what I'm talking about." (CNN)

-To a Baptist congregation on Martin Luther King Day, comparing the legislative body to institutions formed during hundreds of years of slavery.

hillary clinton, house of representatives, martin luther king day